i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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