She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize