just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Houston, we have a blender
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize