bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
