I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize