brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
