our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
