you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
