I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
