you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
