Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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