Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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