hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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