I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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