let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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