Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
