the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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