Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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