It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
