he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is wine microwaveable?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
