...so i touched it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
