He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
