quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
