I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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