i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
