he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
