True but thats because hes a fetus.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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