You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We had sex on a dog bed..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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