The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So much rum. So many feels.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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