real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
