i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
