i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
