I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
