Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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