He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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