Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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