It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
