HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
