i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
