True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he's gonorrhea incarnate
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
