Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize