I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
