I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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