I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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