Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
