I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
