Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
