turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
