I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
