I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
