So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize