Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
