Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
