Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
