so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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