Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
