I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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