Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
