I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it's great music for shaving your balls
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
