Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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