hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
