So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
