I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
