pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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