well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize