yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
